This will probably be a bit random, not real any coherent structure to it. But bear with me. To begin, I haven’t really written in here much lately and I often ask myself why I even write in the first place. Am I searching for validation? Some indication that I’m not alone in a room of smoke and mirrors? Am I doing it to help people – or is it out of selfishness. A chance to say, “Here’s my opinion – its probably better then yours”.

I don’t have a reason why I write, I do it because it happens. Its the birth of a piece of humanity, a portrait into not only my own mind, but the Human mind. Lately I’ve done a lot of thinking about how we isolate ourselves from each other. Even those whom we may be intimate with, whether our friend, our family, our co-workers or our lover. It is our nature, as a species, to isolate ourselves. We go so far as to isolate ourselves even from our own self!

What that leads me to believe is that humanity is a paradox. And while I can’t say for certainty whether or not there is other intelligent life in the universe, I can say that by looking deep within the Human soul I  realize that there isn’t something quite right about us. We don’t make sense. I’ve often referred to a short bit of a speech by Krishnamurti which rougly goes as this:

“What we are seeing, how very important it is, to bring about in the human mind a radical revolution. The crisis is a crisis in Consciousness. A crisis that can not any more accept the old norms, the old patterns, the ancient traditions. And, considering what the world is -now with all the misery, conflict, distructive brutality, aggression, and so on. Man is still as he was, is still brutal, violent, aggressive, inquisitive, competitive. And, he’s built a society along these lines.”

You may be wondering what I’m trying to get around to. Well, it just so happens that I stumbled across a link to a video on Reddit to a montage of those old 80′s dating videoes. I watched that video and a few others. The impression, of course, is that the people in these videos are “losers.” Certainly, looking at them I see that within the societal structure we’ve built they would be considered as such.

It dawned on me, once again, as to the absurdity of how we place labels on each other. How we, with no sense of conscious, deem a person undesirable because they don’t fit the mold that over the course of time we constructed. The mold that says, “Yes, this is a ‘good’ human being. He or she fits what the criteria to be called ‘cool’ or ‘worthy’.”

I don’t fit that mold. I never have, and don’t plan on ever trying. Seeing as I realize that I am imperfect, I’ve come to accept who I am. Sure, there are things I could change that would be beneificial for me – and I do try. I do it, however, not out of an obligation to fit societal expectations but I do it out of my own desire for self-actualization. For example, I’ve always been on the heavy side. Not something I’ve been particuarly proud of. There’s been numerous times as well where I’ve worked hard at changing that – and succeeded. But by some twist of fate I always seem to fall back down in the hole. But its this process, this constant metamorphsis, that allows me to strengthen my resolve. To be better then who I was before, and learn to appreciate my humanity even more. Unfortunately, our society has such high expectations for its members and has no problem with casting out those who refuse or can’t meet those expectations.

Its humrous, in a way, looking back on those 80′s dating videos and then looking today with the Internet how the technology has changed and allowed us more options for love. Aleister Crowley says, “Love is the Law, Love Under Will”. It was this quote by Aristotle though, that I discovered today, that really struck a chord – “Love is composed of a single soul inhabiting two bodies.”

I’m not going to attempt to decipher Crowley’s quote, since honestly I’m far from being as versed in his philosophy as I would like. But, I’m going to make my own interpretation. This interpretation goes hand in hand with what Aristotle said. The point here is that if we learn to Love, not only ourselves but everyone – regardless of whether or not they fit the mold – we begin to realize an important truth. That we are all One soul. That we are as much a part of the Universe as the Universe is a part of us. And we realize that with Love, and following our Will, we are reuniting a piece of our self with that One Soul.

Which brings me back to what Krishnamurti said. In our growing isolated society, with the advent of technology that while appears beneficial seems to strip away pieces of our humanity we find ourselves on a quest for love. We search for it as if it is as elusive as the answers to the greatest questions asked by mankind. Yet, in our blindness and ignorance we fail to see it right in front of us. It surrounds us, the opportunity to Love is given to us every moment we take breathe. Though we push ourselves deeper and deeper into despair convincing ourselves we’ll never find it.

Why do we condemn ourselves to such a lonely fate? Why do we place such prejudice on one another and give ourselves as slaves to the evolutionary tendencies of our species? Evolution is designed to produce a better species and in its design it gave way to free will and consciousness. Yet, we resign ourselves to be damned when we possess the power to evolve as individuals with our Will.

Yet, I’m guilty of this sin as well. I dig deep into that hole of despair, convincing myself that I will not find Love. I ignore the signs and the opportunities that surround me. I possess the same fears that society has implanted in my psyche, that Love is something that needs to be earned and not freely given or received. I realize that I’m just another human paradox.

The pendulum of the mind
swings back and forth
Irrational sanity in
a room of distorted mirrors
and mutilated hopes
Confusion aroused
as the breathing ceases
Reflections on life’s
shattered dreams
The lonely heart
beats no more
Replaced by a consuming,
unrelenting darkness.
Questioned faith
and an uncertain fate
As fragments of a broken
self are scattered across
a landscape stretching
into the very heart of oblivion
A fog of despair darkens
the sky as a swarm of thoughts
descend like locusts
upon the summer crops
The soul screams out
in inconceivable agony
but only the echoes of
an illusion fill the air.
Still as the scarecrow
doomed to the eternity of silence.
Shards of painful memories
pierce the fragile skull
Lost amidst the crimson ocean
whilst on the longest journey
into the depths of
the human condition.

I’ll never forget that within a day of my returning home from Connecticut that my mother had to be rushed to the hospital, with all the stress and pains that were going on at the time finally taking its toll. I can’t bear to think how I would have reacted and dealt with the situation had I still been in Connecticut or made the decision not to return. I can’t begin to express my gratitude towards the universe for allowing me to be back in Ohio during this crisis, and being there to help in what manner I could.

I’ll never forgot how I had the privilege of knowing an amazing, kind soul before the horrors of cancer took its toll. Appreciating such a beautiful person before the tendrils of fate ripped away his innocence and the joy he bought to all those around him. How after not seeing him for at least a month, I was able to say my farewells just the day before he passed. Holding onto his memory as I gazed upon him, saying the final goodbye, as he laid, at last, in peace.

I wonder the meaning, if any, in the fact that the first day I met him was the day he was told he was cancer free. Seeing the horrible road he had to walk, I can’t say with certainty whether or not their is a God, and if there is, what His or Her intentions are for us. What I can say, though, is that the universe holds far more secrets then we can even begin to imagine – and there is a pattern, a web, that connects us all.

I asked myself, when I first realized I would be moving back to Ohio, why did I make that decision? Why had I chosen to return to this place, giving up all I had back in Connecticut to start all over again. Stepping out of the illumination of the sun into the densest night, with such uncertainty and fear.

Then I look back at what has happened over the last few months, and I catch the faintest glimpse of understanding. And I hope, with what the future brings after tonight, I can begin to understand even more.

I think we often fail to appreciate the connection we have with the universe. Its been at least a year since I watched the movie, “The Secret”. I never truly understood what to feel about what was said in that movie. Sure, there are coincedences. But can I ever truly ask the universe for something and expect to receive it? I suppose only the future can tell, at this point, but perhaps there is hope that my dreams don’t go unanswered.

With that being said, I decided to write about something that has been on my mind a lot over the last week. Its something that I’ve consistently found to enter my life at certain points, and often when I need it the most.

A few years ago, during my intense period of self-exploration while in college (which is most likely the best thing I’ve yet to find to have come out of my time at RPI, aside from the wonderful friends I made on my journey), I seriously started studying Indian philosophy; Buddhism, Hinduism, Jainism, and so on. It was this period as well where I discovered my intense love for the Sanskrit language, and while my numerous attempts at learning it have been met with little success thus far, I never fail to be amazed by the beauty and the elegance of the language. It is one of my dreams that eventually I can become fluent in the language, and learn to appreciate the poetic nature of it to the fullest extent.

What I wanted to discuss tonight, however, was the Gayatri Mantra in particular. The Gayatri mantra holds a very important place in Hinduism and has its origins in the Vedas. What’s fascinating about the Gayatri mantra is that, for the most part, it is extremely agnostic about religion. Yet, the illuminating beauty of the verse is enough to inspire a sense of tranquility and calmness when you listen or recite it.

The Gayatri mantra, in Sanksrit, is as follows:
ॐ भूर्भुवः स्वः ।
तत् सवितुर्वरेण्यं ।
भर्गो देवस्य धीमहि ।
धियो यो नः प्रचोदयात् ॥

And in IAST format, it is read as:

oṃ bhūr bhuvaḥ svaḥ
tat savitur vareṇyaṃ
bhargo devasya dhīmahi
dhiyo yo naḥ pracodayāt

I’m going to give a rough translation based on the translations of the verse I’ve read about. To start off, oṃ or ॐ always proceeds the rest of the mantra. Aum is a highly sacred symbol within the Hindu religion. I won’t go indepth as to its meaning, but will say this: The symbol of Aum represents the unity and singularity of the creative Consciousness of the universe, that is, Brahman. It implies the creation, maintenance, and eventual destruction of the universe.

The next part of the mantra, “bhūr bhuvaḥ svaḥ” represents the physical, mental, and spiritual worlds respectively. You may also say that it is the physical, the astral, and the celestial worlds. We are then lead into “tat savitur vareṇyaṃ”. Tat refers to “That”, with an emphasis on the capitalization of the word. It is the Essence, the very highest (varenyam) that luminates the universe (savitur).

This illuminating Essence, which removes obstacles, pain and sorrow (bhargo), is Divine (devasya) and the bestower of happiness and wisdom, and we meditate (dhimahi) upon It. May Our (nah) intellect (Dhiyo), be inspired (prachodayat) by the Creator.

The literal translation, and I have taken the one made by Swami Vivekananda (1), is as follows:

“We meditate on the glory of that Being who has produced this universe; may He enlighten our minds.”

Other variations of this translation exist, though the essence of its meaning is preserved. The beauty of Sanskrit is the extraordinary poetic nature of it, and thus translating something like the Gayatri Mantra into English results in several slight variations.

I hope that you, as I have, can appreciate the beauty of this mantra. As I stated, this mantra is extremely agnostic in its statement, which I think contributes even more to its phenomenal power. I’ve included an embedded video of the Gayatri Mantra being sung by Deva Premal, which still remains as one of my favorite renditions of the mantra in song.

Enjoy!
Om Shanti Shanti Shanti

Footnotes:

(1) – Vivekananda, Swami (1915). The Complete Works of Swami Vivekananda. Advaita Ashram. pp. 211.

Aum
Ever-changing, transforming, eternal
The rhythmic breath of the Divine
Creating and destroying
Pervading beauty
The primordial sound
Vibrating within
That universal heartbeat
Which beats in us all
Unifying
Liberation
From Samsara
Expansion and Contraction
Death and Rebirth
The most basic sound
The sound of All
Aum

So, wasn’t really planning on writing on this topic at all. Sort of sporadically came about after finding an image on Reddit and prompted me to do some research. I’m going to talk about a very sensitive and often forgotten side of American history. The Eugenics movement right here in America. This is not an easy issue to discuss, nor one that I’m eager to write about. At the same time, it should be something that we are all aware of.

For those of you unfamiliar with the term, eugenics refers to the active elimination of individuals deemed unworthy by the State based on the absence of a certain desirable trait or the influence of a genetic anomaly. The most famous example of the eugenics movement that almost everyone is aware of is the extermination of “undesirables” by the Nazi’s during the 1930′s and World War II. It is a byproduct of our inherit animal nature, that those individuals that are born with certain conditions which cause them to be a burden on the family and the State are eliminated to ensure that their genetic   differences aren’t propagated. Unfortunately, eugenics as a concept is most likely rooted in a deep-seeded side-effect of our evolutionary programming. In nature, offspring that are born with a defect that would prove to be harmful to the species will most likely not survive. Whether because they’re at odds with the natural forces of their environment or selectively eliminated by their ancestors, eugenics is not something foreign to evolutionary programming.

However, as I’ve said before numerous times, we as a species have been given the capability of by-passing our evolutionary programming. Our capacity for empathy and emotional feelings towards other members of our species gives us an advantage when dealing with opposing evolutionary forces. Over the course of human history we’ve come to accept and care for human beings who are born with what would otherwise be an evolutionary disadvantage. Whether through a physical deformity or some sort of neurological deformity, these individuals are protected and cared for within modern-day society.

This was not always the case, of course. We only need to look within the past century to find instances where “undesirables” were selectively eliminated by the state. Although the primary motive behind the Nazi’s sadistic eugenics movement was racist and a desire for a pure and undefiled Aryan race via elimination of the Jews, their slaughter of innocent human beings extended to many different groups of people. Including those born with genetic defects.

What isn’t common knowledge though is that the modern-day eugenics movement had its origins here in the United States. Years before Hitler’s rise to power, individuals in American were alive and well spreading the idea behind a eugenics program to eliminate individuals who didn’t confirm to a certain standard. Organizations were founded which in turned influenced legislation. For years, people who were found to have a defect, such as mental handicaps, were barred from marriage. Thousands of people who were deemed by the State for having a condition which would threaten the purity of our species were sterilized. These policies weren’t just confined to racial segregation, but were extended to many different groups of people.

The notion of eugenics has a rich history in literature, as well. The fear of a tyrannical State enforcing breeding laws to ensure the continuity of only the most ideal of offspring can be found in works such as  Aldous Huxley’s “Brave New World”, in which selective breeding results in an off-spring’s social status being preselected. As technology advances we must ask ourselves how much we are willing to sacrifice in terms of our humanity for the sack of science. It is essential that we remember the effects of the eugenics movement here in America, Germany, and else-where in a historical context.

While I believe it is important for humanity to seek to overcome our limitations, at the same time the diversity found within the human species is sacred and beautiful. Condemning an individual to death or ridicule based on characteristics that he or she have no control over goes against everything that it means to be human. We, as a species, have been blessed with the capacity to love, cherish, and feel to a degree unseen in the rest of the natural world. Every person regardless of genetic disadvantages deserves the same right to life and happiness. It is not within our realm of power to be judge over who does and who does not have the right to live.

We often forget that history is doomed to repeat itself, if ignored. As we go forward it is imperative that we remind ourselves that while human, there is a dark and sadistic nature to our species that can show itself if not countered. Life, in all its forms and regardless of defect, is precious and should be cherished. Important still is the fact that even within our own country we have had dark times where this evil-side of our nature has shown itself.

What’s neat about the Remember-mode though is that you can use templates
to build up a sort of personal database. Lets say I want to keep a
database of songs I listen to at work. I can make a template like this:


:PROPERTIES:
:Song Name:
:Artist:
:Album:
:END:
Comments:


Then, I load the template up with Remember-Mode, add a new song, and
voila I have the beginnings of my own customizable Personal Information
Manager. Here’s how a sample entry might look:

** Prologue :SONG:
:PROPERTIES:
:Song Name: Prologue
:Artist: Loreena McKennitt
:Album: The Book of Secrets
:END:
Comments:


Cool, huh?